Ross is love.

Family Time.

So, I'm feeling just a bit guilty about cussing out Isaiah Washington. I'm not saying he doesn't deserve to be cussed out, but by getting all huffy about a celebrity's stupid comments, and responding obnoxiously, I think that I might be part of the problem. I apologize to the many children who read this blog expecting good time, family entertainment.

Besides, Britain has a new Prime Minister and my beloved Dr. Zahi Hawass has been before the cameras again to announce the identification of ancient Egypt's #1 lady-Pharaoh, Hatshepsut. Who even cares what Isaiah Washington says? Not me.

Unless he says something else obnoxious. That'll be fun. 

Really?

Pardon my nastiness, but could Isaiah Washington please (please) just shut the fuck up?

"Well, it didn't help me on the set that I was a black man who wasn't a mush-mouth Negro walking around with his head in his hands all the time. I didn't speak like I'd just left the plantation and that can be a problem for people sometime."

In a country where in most states you can be denied work or fired solely for being gay, you want to bitch to me about how hard your life is? Seriously? You're calling this racism? I have a feeling that if I yelled faggot at someone at my job (twice), they wouldn't wait until the end of the season to shitcan my ass...

You got that right!

Ah, YouTube. The lazy-ass blogger's best friend...behold, ye: Unicorn Planet!

Thanks, Wendella.

Alternately, enjoy three new masterpieces of digital criticism: Slippin': Ten Years with the Bloods, Hex Season One, and The War Tapes. Also, if you're interested in McSweeney's and care to know a bit more about their no-fault-of-their-own financial woes, Salon.com has an article here. They seem to be doing well, thanks largely to the tremendous response to their sale/auction. All I got for you today. Sorry.

Sabotage?

I'd certainly be remiss in my duties, as Shannon has pointed out, if I didn't follow-through on the Hillary campaign-song contest to the bitter end.

Click here for the winner. If you dare.

Save McSweeney's.

So it would seem that the generally brilliant, but never less than mildly amusing folks at McSweeney's publishing house have found themselves in a bit of a pickle. Something about an excessively large cash shortfall brought on by the bankruptcy of a distributor.

They're holding both an auction (often pricey, but with contributions from the like of David Byrne, Dave Eggers, and Nick Hornby) and a sale (not just that they're selling things, but that they're actually at sale prices). If you're unfamiliar with McSweeney's, now would be an excellent time to become acquainted. If you've already had the pleasure, then you don't need to be convinced. Imagine a thousand bemused hipsters crying out as one, and then being suddenly silenced. It would be a bit like that.

By all means check out a few of my favorite bits (from the top of my head) from their website below (fellow bemused hipsters, please submit your own faves). Also, you may come to my basement and read my beloved stack of copies of The Believer, if you like. But you can't keep them. They were a gift, you frackin' freeloaders.

Aquaman.
Patriotic Songs Reworked.
Regarding Pete Seeger.

Wendella's Pick:
Notes on "Sweet Child O' Mine".

On and on.

Coming up on Day 6 of Don't Stop Believin' by Journey in my head. Damn you, Sopranos. Damn you right to hell.

¶ In that spirit, I should probably also come clean on another dark secret that I've been harboring:

I liked that Fantastic Four movie. And I'm gonna see the second one. Don't judge me.

I'm a believer?

¶ So, having mentioned this before, I'd be entirely remiss if I didn't point out that voting is now on for the Hillary Clinton campaign theme song contest. This is your chance to help...or sabotage...the Clinton campaign by choosing a cool theme song...or choosing the Celine Dion. The future is yours. I selected the Smash Mouth thinger.

¶ I had many stronger opinions a few days ago, but allow me to weigh in on the controversy surrounding the Sopranos finale: it was good. Any other interpretation is incorrect. I'm happy to go over it with you. Slate.com's "Today's Papers" segment had perhaps the most apt analysis:

Homage to Tony Soprano … There's plenty of analysis out there of The Sopranos' finale and surely there will be more to come. For our part, TP found the ending to be

It's funny if you watched it. If you didn't, I have nothing for you.

¶ Almost half of Russian working age men (half!) die from excessive drinking. Among the culprits: aftershaves, colognes, mouthwashes, and cleaning agents, say UK researchers. They're cheaper, and have much higher concentrations of alcohol that legit booze.

¶ Finally, meet Evan O'Dorney, whom I shall be adopting presently. Anyone who can make one of those useless news-network anchors that uncomfortable is A-OK in my book (note especially CNN's interview-appropriate display of tuna...).

One step forward...

"It does hold up the system to ridicule when the powerful and the famous get special treatment."

- California Attorney General Jerry Brown

Amen, brother.

In gay, gay, gay news, meet the next Surgeon General of the United States (if President Bush's nomination is confirmed, as it is likely to be): Dr. James W. Holsinger. As America's most important arbiter and educator on health care issues, he'll be in a perfect position to stress one of his major pet causes: curing gays and lesbians. Not only has he served on the council of the highest Methodist "court," the United Methodist Judicial Council where he has concurred with decisions banning gays and lesbians, he also co-founded in 2000 the Hope Springs Church, which offers a big helping hand to those who no longer wish to be gay. I'm considering their course to heal me of my sexual brokenness.

From his paper on the topic:

"It is clear that even primitive cultures understand the nature of waste elimination, sexual intercourse, and the birth of children...the logical complementarity of the human sexes has been so recognized in our culture that it has entered our vocabulary in the form of naming various pipe fittings either the male fitting or the female fitting depending upon which one interlocks within the other. When the complementarity of the sexes is breached, injuries and diseases may occur..."

That's just fucked up.

¶ But that Isaiah Washington got canned, so I guess that's progress. (I'm one of the fourteen people who doesn't watch Grey's, so I'm frankly ambivalent about the whole thing.)

¶ Oh, and you may notice that I've removed my link to the Public Radio Talent Quest, not because it's not a good idea that you should support, but because I'm bitter and slightly petulant. Public Radio and I aren't on the very best of terms right now. It'll pass.

Polliwog Sunday.

Lord, but it's been a crazy week. Not that anything crazy has happened, just that I found myself on a mysterious emotional roller-coaster that took me from an utterly pleasant holiday Monday, to a modestly satisfied Tuesday, through to a Wednesday and Thursday that found me contemplating my lot in life and finding myself wanting.

I always get this way around car-inspection time. Nothing to worry about. There's something about the thought of the garage guys standing over my car in judgment that always gets me down. Nevertheless, Friday and Saturday have been lovely and Sunday is looking bright as well. After days of helplessly and uncomfortably watching frogs make furious love in the pond out back, Mike and I are now proud papas to at least a dozen or so friendly polliwogs (polliwogs, I believe, are what you call them when they're not quite tadpoles...all I know about frog biology, I learned from the Muppets, so I may be off on that one).

I may also be in a good mood because Sopranos is back tonight. It mayn't last: tomorrow, the results of round one of the Public Radio Talent Quest are announced. To those who voted, I say thanks. To those who thought about it, I'm similarly grateful. I'd be a hypocrite if I got all up in yo' shit, fellow slackers.

Not entirely certain that anything particularly attention-grabbing is going on in the news. A Polish man in a coma for 19 years awoke to a pleasant surprise: Democracy. Probably best to skip all that Solidarity/Lech Walesa business anyway. Much too stressful. Finally, for those of you fans of PBS' American Experience series (no, really...it's good stuff) the fine folks at DigitallyObsessed.com have posted my review of the new Alexander Hamilton film.