Ross is love.

Have a great life fatso.

Um, I don't know, what's it supposed to mean governor? A.) You're a fucking crook. B.) You're a fucking asshole. C.) All of the above.

From our buddy Sarah Smart (whose mad sexual obsession with White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel may shortly become a bit more understandable) comes this transcript of a telephone conversation between Emanuel and former Illinois governor Rod Blagojovich (whose phones had been tapped by this time). This chat happened on November 10th of last year, about a month before Blagojovich was arrested on several charges related to his attempts to sell the newly vacant senate seat of Barack Obama. In a weird way, Rahm's foul-mouthed but fully justified takedown of the crooked governor is kinda sexy. If that's your thing...

RAHM EMANUEL: This is Rahm.

ROD BLAGOJEVICH: Hey Rahm, yeah it's Rod.

EMANUEL: Uh-huh. What's going on governor, I'm busy.

BLAGO: Well, it's about that Senate appointment...

EMANUEL: We already gave you the list of people we like.

BLAGO: Yeah, I been looking the list over. Interesting names. Good people. How's the transition going?

EMANUEL: It's going fine, governor. Are you calling to fucking tell me anything, or what, cause I--

BLAGO: No no, I'm just wondering if you have all your picks already made. I heard something about Dashle for HHS--

EMANUEL: I'm not gonna discuss ongoing deliberations, gov, you know that.

BLAGO: Hey, come on Rahm, let's not act like I'm a stranger here.

EMANUEL: Did I call you a stranger? If I thought you were a stranger, you think I'd be interrupting my important fucking business to take this fucking phone call?

BLAGO: Hey you don't have to get curt with me, Rahm.

EMANUEL: This isn't me being curt, Gov, this is me being fucking busy. Now what did you call about?

BLAGO: I'm just feeling you out, seeing if Valerie [Jarret] still wants that Senate seat, just wondering what kind of priority that is for the President-Elect.

EMANUEL: Actually, it's not a priority. Valerie's had second thoughts about the job.

BLAGO: What, she doesn't want it anymore?

EMANUEL: She's having second thoughts. You want more details, you ask her.

BLAGO: She won't take my calls.

EMANUEL: Big fucking surprise.

BLAGO: What's that supposed to mean?

EMANUEL: Um, I don't know, what's it supposed to mean governor? A.) You're a fucking crook. B.) You're a fucking asshole. C.) All of the above.

BLAGO: I'm clean Rahm, you know this. You think that fucking Fitzgerald would being twiddling his fucking thumbs if he had shit to go on?

EMANUEL: I gotta go, Gov. You appoint who you want, we really don't give a shit.

BLAGO: What if I appoint Valerie, what if she takes it?

EMANUEL: What do you want me to say? We'd appreciate it, I'm not gonna fucking kiss your ring over it.

BLAGO: "Appreciate it"? Come on, this is a senate seat we're talking about. It's worth a fuck of a lot more than appreciation.

EMANUEL: You asked us for a list, we gave you a fucking list, you want to make your own list then make your own fucking list. [Raising voice] But if you're asking for anything else from me, or Barack, or Valerie, then you can fucking stop talking right now Rod.

BLAGO: Wait a sec there Rahm. Wait just a fucking minute. Who are you to talk to me like that? I fucking made you.

EMANUEL: You made me? You made me? Tell me you're fucking joking.

BLAGO: No no no, you listen to me shit-face. You see this list I got, the names motherfucking Obama fucking wants for the Senate. I just ripped it in two. How you like that? Oops, Harris just dropped it in the shredder. Harris?

HARRIS (muffled): Yes sir?

BLAGO: Did you just drop that list in the shredder?

[Whirring, shredder noise]

HARRIS (muffled): I did.

EMANUEL: Do you have me on fucking speakerphone?

BLAGO: It's in the shredder, Rahm. The list is bye bye.

EMANUEL: Hold on a sec -- you got me on fucking speakerphone? Who the fuck do you think I am?

BLAGO: Who are you Rahm? Who are you? You're shit, you hear me? Don't come back to Chicago Rahm, it's not your town any more.

EMANUEL: Pick up the phone Rod.

BLAGO: I'll put someone in the senate who will fucking fuck you. I might even put myself in there, how you like that Rahm? How you gonna explain that to fucking Barack, every time he's gotta call me up for my fucking vote. He'd have to take my calls then, wouldn't he?

EMANUEL: [Screaming] I said pick up the FUCKING phone!

BLAGO: [Picks up phone, speakerphone off] I got your attention now, didn't I?

EMANUEL: Shut the fuck up and listen to me for one second Rod. And I want you to listen carefully, because this is the last time I'm ever going to talk to you. You are fucking dead to me. You been fucking dead to Barack since '06, now you're dead to me. Know what that means? That means you're dead to my people in Chicago, Daley on down, and all these friends you think you have aren't gonna touch you with a ten foot fucking pole.

BLAGO: Oh now you're the fucking Godfather? Fuck you.

EMANUEL: No fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you.

BLAGO: Fuck you!

EMANUEL: Listen up asshole. The shit's gonna hit the fan, maybe tomorrow, maybe next month, and when Fitz finally brings down the hammer it's gonna be my name that's going through your head. You won't know the hows or the fucking whys, but it's gonna have my fucking fingerprints all over it. Have a great life fatso.

BLAGO: Hey fuck--

EMANUEL: [Click.]

End of conversation

The Sound of Tomorrow goes live -- February 13th.

 

Not only will your favorite podcasters be taking over the Mez, but look for some of your favorite Rosserforders (Sarah Smart, anyone?) to amuse and delight. 

Find out more at SoundofTomorrow.com and HouseofHamez.com

An end to torture.

"The United States intends to prosecute the ongoing struggle against violence and terrorism. We are going to do so vigilantly, we are going to do so effectively, and we are going to do so in a manner that is consistent with our values and our ideals."

Well, that was easy. An executive order, issued on Obama's second full day in office, bans the torture of those in U.S. custody. The order revokes several Bush-era executive orders, and stipulates that the Army Field Manual once again be used as the standard for the treatment and interrogation of detainees. Two other orders mandate the closing of the Guantanamo Bay prison within one year, and order a suspension of current prosecutions pending review. All offshore CIA prisons will, in fact, be closing, but without a time frame.

Given my reverence for the American legal process, this is a genuinely thrilling development.

And the nominees are:

Best Picture: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, Frost/Nixon, Milk, Slumdog Millionaire, The Reader

Best Animated Feature: Bolt, Kung Fu Panda, Wall-E

Supporting Actress: Amy Adams (Doubt), Penelope Cruz (Vicky Cristina Barcelona), Viola Davis (Doubt), Taraji P. Henson (Doubt), Marisa Tomei (The Wrestler)

Supporting Actor: Josh Brolin (Milk), Robert Downey, Jr. (Tropic Thunder), Philip Seymour Hoffman (Doubt), Heath Ledger (The Dark Knight), Michael Shannon (Revolutionary Road)

Best Actress: Anne Hathaway (Rachel Getting Married), Angelina Jolie (Changeling), Melissa Leo (Frozen River), Meryl Streep (Doubt), Kate Winslet (The Reader)

Best Actor: Richard Jenkins (The Visitor), Frank Langella (Frost/Nixon), Sean Penn (Milk), Brad Pitt (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button), Mickey Rourke (The Wrestler)

Director: David Fincher (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button), Ron Howard (Frost/Nixon), Gus Van Sant (Milk), Stephen Daldry (The Reader), Danny Boyle (Slumdog Millionaire)

Documentary Feature: The Betrayal (Nerakhoon), Encounters at the End of the World, The Garden, Man on Wire, Trouble the Water

Foreign Film: The Baader Meinhof Complex (Germany), The Class (France), Departures (Japan), Revanche (Austria), Waltz with Bashir (Israel)

Original Screenplay: Frozen River (Courtney Hunt), Happy-Go-Lucky (Mike Leigh), In Bruges (Martin McDonagh), Milk (Dustin Lance Black), WALL-E (Andrew Stanton, Jim Reardon, Pete Docter)

Adapted Screenplay: The Curious Case of Benjamin Button (Eric Roth, Robin Swicord), Doubt (John Patrick Shanley), Frost/Nixon (Peter Morgan), The Reader (David Hare), Slumdog Millionaire (Simon Beaufoy)

My early guesses? Slumdog for best picture, Wall-E's a lock for animated feature. Heath will get best supporting actor if the academy is even remotely interested in ratings. Everyone seems to be digging Mickey Rourke's comeback, and I think that folks like that Kate Winslet.

Danny Boyle will probably get best director over Gus Van Sant, esp. since older academy voters tend to be hostile to gay material (remember the year that 'Crash' beat 'Brokeback Mountain' for best picture? Remember 'Crash' at all?). Encounters at the End of the World or Man on Wire will win for documentary, and Waltz with Bashir should win foreign film. Plan your Oscar pools accordingly.

Any other predictions/favorites? Anyone else still care about the Oscars? Full nominations here.

The last word.

Sorry to continue being political, but the following statement about the dangers of an unfettered, unregulated market had to be made somewhere. This is why we have an internet.

Video here. My entirely unrelated review of "Dexter: Season One" on Blu-ray here.

First thing.

Obama's first act as President: a proclamation proclaiming a "National Day of Renewal and Reconciliation". It's fairly traditional:

"...On this Inauguration Day, we are reminded that we are heirs to over two centuries of American democracy, and that this legacy is not simply a birthright -- it is a glorious burden. Now it falls to us to come together as a people to carry it forward once more.

So in the words of President Abraham Lincoln, let us remember that: "The mystic chords of memory, stretching from every battlefield and patriot grave to every living heart and hearthstone all over this broad land, will yet swell the chorus of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by the better angels of our nature."

Full text (on the promptly updated new White House site) here.

The President.

   

We remain a young nation, but in the words of Scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free, and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.

--Barack Obama, 44th President of the United States

Someone is stitching up a hem, darning a hole in a uniform, patching a tire, repairing the things in need of repair. Someone is trying to make music somewhere with a pair of wooden spoons on an oil drum with cello, boom box, harmonica, voice. A woman and her son wait for the bus.

A farmer considers the changing sky; A teacher says, "Take out your pencils. Begin."

--Elizabeth Alexander, Inaugural poet

Inauguration day.

Maybe it’s not all out fault. After these eight years our view has been of sand as the cart came off the track. Maybe we can point the blame in all directions. Are you pointing at me now? I’ll kick it back somehow the hell from the USA.

Wake me up when it’s over, or please just let me sleep. I was in a dream where everything was beautiful and we were secure in the same little houses with all our big box stores where we can buy some more to prove we’ve made it big right here in the USA.

Man, it’s been a dream that someone would wake up. Shake up!

Maybe we need not feel so bad about what we did or didn’t do. What we said. What we should have said. After all, we’re such a nation that we will lay the blame or acquiesce. Lay the whole mess: It’s how it’s done in the USA.

What can one say? What can one say? I’ll take it. I’ll make it mine. If you answer, you thousands say, “Everything will be just fine.” You’re beautiful. This place is fine. Everything is all right. Everything is all right.

"Someone to Wake" Music and lyrics by Christian Kiefer, featuring Will Johnson. Download it here. More about the "Of Great and Mortal Men" collection here.

   

 

The President and Laura Bush leave the White House to greet the Obamas this morning.

44.

         

A run-down of events here.

We are one--just not the gay one.

"We had always intended and planned for Rt. Rev. Robinson's invocation to be included in the televised portion of yesterday's program. We regret the error in executing this plan - but are gratified that hundreds of thousands of people who gathered on the mall heard his eloquent prayer for our nation that was a fitting start to our event."

That was Obama inaugural committee spokesman Josh Earnest, explaining why the openly gay episcopal bishop of New Hampshire, the Rt. Rev. V. Gene Robinson, didn't make it on TV giving his invocation to the inaugural kick-off "We Are One" concert last night. You'll recall that the Rev. Robinson was announced right around the time that the furor over anti-gay preacher Rick Warren was heating up (Warren will be opening the inauguration proper tomorrow morning). Further a technical glitch in one of the speaker towers at the event prevented the Reverend from being heard by a large portion of the crowd gathered at the Lincoln Memorial. I give the benefit of the doubt when I say "technical glitch," because I refuse to believe that that bit was intentional, but it's worth noting that sound doesn't appear to have cut out during any of the other speeches or performances.

This concert was exclusively aired by HBO, who have stated unequivocally that the decision to have the Reverend speak before the scheduled start of the event was entirely that of the Presidential Inaugural Committee. When I first heard about this, I was inclined to give the benefit of the doubt...maybe it was just a simple mistake. I'd still really, really like to believe that. The more I look into it, though, the more that explanation seems ridiculous: if you have a show scheduled to start at 2:30, a third-grader can figure out that someone scheduled to give a four-minute speech at 2:25 isn't going to wind up on TV. The committee says it will air the prayer on the mall tomorrow, but there's no indication that it will wind up on TV. Rick Warren's prayer, meanwhile, is expected to be seen by a viewing audience of 150 million plus an additional two million on the mall. So here it is, distributed to the massive readership of Rosserford.com:

I've said it before, but it feels more true all the time: when you're a gay dude (or anyone concerned about civil rights) who supported Obama, gave him money, voted for him, and encouraged his friends to vote for him...well, you start to feel a bit like the battered wife who keeps coming back for more. The one with the exceptionally pointy coffee table, to hear tell of it. But still, we're afraid if we stand up to him, he might leave.

I desperately want to be thrilled, elated by this almost mystical, at least highly serendipitous confluence of an inauguration with unique historical value wrapping a round-number anniversary of the birth of Martin Luther King, Jr., along with the forthcoming Abraham Lincoln bicentennial. I want that more than almost anything during this week--it's history that's happened, and it's history in the offing, and those are pretty much my two favorite things. President-elect Obama seems almost determined to ruin it for me. It's as if he can't help himself.

I still believe Obama to be an exceptionally competent, self-assured leader who has yet to let the adulation of most of America quite go to his head. That, in itself, is extraordinary. I think that he's put together a talented and experienced team of people who won't be afraid to question him (I'm looking at you, Hill). Aside from the, in my opinion, far overstated fact that he is, indeed, black, I have every reason to have hope that he will be a skilled administrator, a thoughtful leader, and an inspirational figure. On one of the central civil rights challenges of our day, though, he has told us that we're on our own. This is all just symbolism, you may say. I say that this man understands symbolism like no one who has ever aspired to the office of president. He knows exactly what he's doing. This isn't hope. It's not change. It's politics.

I'll say it before Kanye West has a chance:

Barack Obama does not care about gay people.

Now prove me wrong. Please.